Winter thoughts..

Freewrite

"Our walls remain standing, as the fire within burns bright. Through the coldest of times, and under the harshest of elements we inhale all the chaos, exhaling only warmth and love." 

©Aisha Mirza

Faith and Community

Maybe I'm an old soul, but I often reminisce of times gone by. I'm a firm believer that no matter which direction life takes us, how far, how low, or how high we should never forget to remember the path we have walked. Never forget those who were present along the way offering their words, support, or lessons. Some who left us with scars, some with memories, some with questions and some left imprints on our hearts. All, helping us to grow.

To remain humble take a look back...

Picture: with my neighbours to my previous home. My support in good times and bad. We may not share the same religion but we share something called faith in humanity.

Empathy

Freewrite..

When you are a natural empath sometimes the world feels consuming. A space of stillness, and solitude for a moment of silence is essential to remain grounded.

Solidarity with Syria

In solidarity with the people of Syria and the city of Aleppo

A peaceful protest held by the Syrian Community of Manchester to call for an immediate ceasefire, and the urgent delivery of humanitarian aid.

This war must come to an end. 
Too many lives have been lost,
And too much blood spilt.
The day we stop feeling the pain of another's suffering,
will be the day we lose all humanity.

The world is wounded, and we must do everything in our power to help it heal.

May peace be restored to this land. ameen.

Rising after we fall.

Wrote this, this time last year... and how poignant now when in need of a spiritual boost. 

freewrite...

"There are times in our lives when we feel that the tests are unrelenting. That life is one trial, followed by another with no respite. That every time you think you take one step forward, you somehow feel that it is two steps back. Though the words ring in you head, "no soul shall be burdened with more than it can bear", and though you attempt to self talk your soul into believing that "He swt loves you and hence He tests you" sometimes it takes a little more to prevent you from falling into that pit of despair.

It takes a reminder so loud and so clear, it jolts you into prostration. It is like the thunder; we may not notice when lightening flashes but certainly feel it's presence and enormity through it's thunderclaps.

Sometimes we need to be broken and crushed to rebuild, reconnect and reclaim."

Strength

freewrite..

"To remain delicate and beautiful in a harsh cold world takes strength..."

25th Nov- Elimination of Violence Against Women

SubhanAllah, a year on since we first sat round the table to organise the first all female delegation out to Bosnia to examine the female narrative of war. To capture the stories of survivors but particularly the women who survived rape and torture.

Despite working with survivors of rape and sexual violence here in the UK the stories from Bosnia are the most harrowing I've ever heard.

Today is the UN day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. Statistics tell us 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual or physical violence mostly from an intimate partner. In the UK alone 2 women a week are murdered by a current or former partner. 43% of women in 28 European Union Member States have experienced some form of psychological violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime... and the list continues. The violence and abuse of women is a pandemic, and we must do everything in our power to stop this injustice through our words and our actions.

Let us continue to stand for justice, for equality, and for peace. 

Resilience

freewrite...

"The journey has been long and arduous. One cluttered with conflict, where your soul was torn apart. One hindered with hardship, scaling mountains which reached the sky. One painted with pain, after crossing flames fanned by jealousy and hate. One enveloped with shame, after trust became broken. 

It was never going to be easy. It was never going to be without blood and tears, never without acquiring scars. You bent, but did not break. You shattered to a million pieces, but refused to become dust in the wind."

Prayer for Women

For all the women. Those who struggle, who experience abuse, who suffer illness, who remain in difficulty or suffer hardship. For those longing for children and those awaiting them. Those who raise them on their own or have been separated from them. Those who experience violence, or have been violated. Those at risk of harm or those who feel desperate or depressed... my heartfelt prayers always.

May you be protected.

May you be relieved.

May you be reunited. 

May you always know your worth and rise.

Survive

"Oh mother catch me as I fall. Let me melt into your warmth, while bitter winds blow outside."

How to keep busy while in Hospital.

In two weeks I've learnt a lifetime of stories. Women who despite war and struggles continued to stand tall and stand firm.

I've heard stories of hardships when bombs began to fall. About the worries of parents who chose to send their children away to homes outside the cities, in the hope they would be more likely to survive. Of young sisters afraid of separation, despite the risks, headed out on a mission to seek out their only brother to bring him back to the home they were staying at. I've heard stories of strict matrons, who were cruel and under their rule, childhoods were spent working the lands. I've heard of young women becoming part of the land army spending their days sowing, digging, and driving tractors, and sneaking out in the evening to dance halls for some respite from the raging war outside.

I've met one of the oldest triplets in the UK, and had the honour of being given an insight into her extraordinary life. Despite the odds how she survived weighing only 2lbs and has lived a full and fruitful life. I've learnt the histories of Manchester I never knew, from the location of air raid shelters, to shopping parades where I would never guess they once stood.

Everyone we meet has a story to tell. If we only choose to listen, we may benefit from the richness of what they have to share.

#HowToKeepBusyWhileInHospital

Revive

"All things come to an end. All things fall or break only to be revived once more."

A prayer

Sometimes we only value our good health, when we are tested by illness.

Today I ask you to remember all those who are sick and suffering across the globe, may He grant cure.

May Allah grant us all health, may He grant us the ability to continue striving to do good and use the life He has blessed us with to make change for the better. May we not for a minute lose sight of the blessings of our faculties, and our bodies and do everything we can to maintain them.

May we find ease in our difficulties, and find solace in times of despair. May each person separated from a loved one be reunited. May each child grow in health, faith and strength. May each mother be blessed with courage and the one who sheds tears alone be granted resilience, and companionship which lifts her wings.

May each broken heart be healed. 
May we forgive and may we be forgiven.
May each one of us who feel lost find our way.
May our intention remain pure. May our hearts remain soft, May our words be of benefit, and may our actions remain just, fair, and aid unity, love and peace.

Ameen.

World Mental Health Day 2016

Against the backdrop of the stunning Cathedral voices rose from all walks of life on the challenges of mental illness as carers, as leaders, as practitioners and those who suffer.

Organised by the Diocese of Manchester it was a not only a chance for the congregation to remember those who suffer, in prayer asking to be more understanding, more empathic and more helpful, but also to hear real voices from across a wide spectrum.

We heard from a woman whose son for 29 years was left undiagnosed with psychosis, spent much of his life in and out of prison, self harming and being a risk to others. Despite her efforts to tell practitioners she believed something was seriously wrong with being told he "only had learning difficulties" it took a judge to rather send him to prison again, to instead send him to a place where he could be supported appropriately. 29 years lost. 29 years of suffering for a whole family.

We heard from those working with children and how current media and attitudes impacted on their mental wellbeing. How it was shaping how they viewed themselves often feeling they were "not good enough" as they didn't fit the ideals of others.

Humbling stories which only reminded me of how much work we need to do around mental illness. I was asked to give a muslim female perspective on mental health.

I shared how Islam acknowledges mental illness and is clear on how they should be treated. How in His words and in the Sunnah there is ample examples of self-help, techniques of grounding through zkir and prayer, and ways of finding solace and peace. I shared that Allah is Merciful, however people are sometimes not. There still remains lack of education with associated stigma and shame. That sometimes people can compartmentalise or have a reductionist viewpoint, that if you suffer emotionally or mentally it's simply down to lack of faith/imaan. Some are quick to jump to the conclusions that it is an affliction of black magic or evil eye. None of them being incorrect, however not necessarily the root cause. The body is made up of mind, heart, and soul, and must be looked at in a holistic way.

I shared my own personal journey and how faith had helped me keep my head above water at times I felt like I was drowning. It was my journey to become a counsellor which led me to understand that there was more to the pain behind my smiling facade. What I experienced in the company of myself had names; anxiety and depression, and in acknowledgement I found a way to help myself.

My final thought..

We have to change the narrative. We have to welcome those who suffer as so many around us do so in silence due to fear of rejection or judgement. They walk amongst us, sit beside us, are our colleagues, family members or neighbours. Reaching out is a step towards recovery.

I have learnt in healing others, I also heal myself.

Vulnerability

Freewrite...

"I am not for sharing my vulnerabilities with anyone. Most are not able to hold them, while many refuse to see past their own. Some will turn them into weapons to hurt me further." 

- Aisha Mirza

Empathy

freewrite...

"Our people are those who see our flaws and mistakes, but stand by us. See our brokenness and do not attempt to fix us, but instead accept this shapes who we are. See our scars and allow us space to heal. These are our people... "- Aisha Mirza

South Asian Women's Heritage Project

I was with my favourite elders today, at the South Asian Women's Heritage project. Mash'Allah. I have to admit though it's my job I get so much out of working with them. I actually find it therapeutic and grounding.

They make my heart happy. Alhamdulillah

Today they shared pastimes. The difference between them and us is that, everything they did back then had a social and community aspect to it unlike now. Though we have so much technology which is created to improve communication, we are now more disconnected from one another than ever before.

I watched them while they all crocheted, and heard the constant chatter with moments of silence while they reflected. Listened to them share advice and tips, sometimes sharing their hardships, and many times their resilience in times of difficulty.

Most of all I witnessed their faces light up, while they remembered days of their past.

Today they taught me to crochet, but they also taught me patience and perseverance.

They called my creation "flower made by a flower."

Memories

Freewrite.. 

"I love recollecting happy memories of the past, be it my own or others. It's my way of staying young in mind and spirit, while my body grows older." - Aisha Mirza

Art of Listening

Freewrite...

"There is a real art to listening. It is not simply the silencing of our voice. It is to still the murmurs of thought, curtail the rise of judgement, and feel the world of the other. Only then can we hear the things others do not say." - Aisha Mirza

Community Spirit

Came home to my parents and found our wonderful neighbour Mrs M had popped in to see my parents.

This is what I call true community spirit. When they don't see each other in the street, they all visit one another, or ask after each other.

There are only a few families left who have lived in the street as long as my parents have. Many have passed away or moved, many others have come and gone, and new families have settled here. However the few who have remained over 3 decades have so much love and support for one another. Even if it's a "Hello" in the street or running each other’s errands, no one is left feeling alone.

We forget the importance of our duty towards our neighbours. How much difference something so simple can make. The difference can be restoring hope in times of despair.

This is home. This is community.

"This street is still awash with our cuts, grazes and scars, our laughter, tears and mischief. Every corner hold secrets of our childhood. These bricks are made of memories and cemented with stories of our past." Aisha Mirza

Been a while

freewrite...

"Two hours and nothing. Not one word. The unfurling of image after image of unbridled destruction, she felt the pangs of despair reach the pit of her stomach. Her finger had scrolled miles. The weight of what she witnessed grew heavy. Everyone seemed to be angry at someone; some caught up in lies, and some blinded by their own ego, "ruthless" came to mind. Fingers poised, ready to unleash the rage that rose through her chest, they receded gently pushing back into her soft palms as the thought of a sister counting her last breaths came to mind. 'Fighting fire with fire only evokes greater misery, rather create a space where fires may no longer burn'."

"Mercy" is the word. © Aisha Mirza 

Voids

There are some days we just need to escape. Spend time watching waves or making footprints in the sand.

There are days we simply do not fit it. Places where we do not belong, no matter how familiar.

Present but absent.

Similar, but different.

Visible, but unheard.

There are days we need to find our feet. Seek out what it is we are looking for. Reflect on the void as vast as the ocean, and refocus on the One able to fill it. Insh'Allah.

Remembering Srebrenica Memorial Week 2016

A week of events and memorials, which were held across the region and across the country, to stand in solidarity with survivors of the Bosnian Genocide, finally came to a close this Sunday. On reflection if there is anything which came to mind time and time again for me was this; without truth there is no justice, without justice there is no truth and without raised voices there is neither.

This has been a week of raising our voices against hate, against violence, and against injustice. This has been a week of finding what is common and accepting our differences for a greater good and a greater cause. This has been a week of solidarity with all those who have found themselves oppressed, abused, tortured, harmed and pledging to continue to stand against all forms of oppression. This has been a week to let people know, we are a community that will not be divided and we will not let our generation or future generations witness the barbarity of the past and the heinous crimes which currently plague our world.

Recent events have given rise to more Islamophobia, hate crime and intolerance of the “other”, which cannot be ignored. People have died as a result of hate, and we must continue to do all we can to stop the cycle, and challenge all those who wish to cause divides. Let us continue to sow seeds of love and compassion, and may we raise a generation which is passionate about equality, truth and justice.

Aisha Mirza

Some of the North West events organisers: Aisha Mirza, Katie Parker, Elinor Chohan, Amna Abdul Latif, Farah Anwar-Bawany, Yusuf Tai, Noordad Aziz-Cllr, Aidan Stonehouse, Armaan Chohan, Heather Fletcher, Qaisra Shahraz, Fatimah Mohammed-Ashrif, Umer Khan, Aimee Jane Banay and many delegates.

Sexual Violence as a Tool of War- Remembering Srebrenica Fundraising Dinner

Sunday 10th July 2016 we finally witnessed our months of hard work and commitment come together with an event that attracted over 150 people from diverse communities all coming together to learn, share and discuss issues of sexual violence and rape against women during the conflict in Bosnia. We were able to share the long standing effects of trauma, but also celebrate the resilience and courage of women. An event with an all female panel, bringing their own experience and perspective on women issues, and the importance of solidarity, the conversations which erupted afterwards were phenomenal. Many stressed that they did not know of the extent and nature of what the women of Bosnia had endured, but also shared that there was a huge need to address sexual violence as a whole. This being not only a tool of war, but how it is still prevalent in many communities, with the current increase of women seeking support or reporting, being a clear reflection of this.

As I said in my speech during the event, despite working with survivors of sexual violence, abuse and rape over a number of years, this trip left me feeling traumatised at the level of depravity that the sexual violence entailed. However it also strengthened my resolve to continue to dedicate my time and efforts to not only raise awareness, and educate but also create safe spaces for survivors to speak out, and ultimately work at ending sexual violence against women and girls.

The following is the speech I delivered that evening. Alongside an overview of our trip earlier this year (January 2016) to Bosnia with the charity Remembering Srebrenica, it contains verbatim excerpts of testimonies from survivors (which are highlighted in bold italic).

 

*Trigger warning- some may find the following content disturbing* 
* "Pre-war

Life was really good. We had an actor’s club, a theatre, a music and dance school. My daughter would learn the Tango and other Latin American dances, and I would dance traditionally. There was live music in a garden café every day, we’d go fishing during the summer, and swimming in the clear waters of the Drina. (Kada)

At the beginning of the war I could not and did not believe that it would happen. I could not believe that our neighbours would turn their backs on us and that they would turn into perpetrators. (Munira)

How could this happen? These are the words on the lips of many survivors from the Bosnian genocide. A society; where Muslims, Christians and even the small minority of Jews had lived together, side by side, for generations in peace. A society; where nothing but a name set one apart from another.  Where many worked and did business, with each other. Where many had friendships and many married one another.     

Then how could neighbours turn on neighbours? How could teachers turn on students, and how could friends find themselves on opposing sides, willing to take up arms and willing to commit murder and rape? 

Earlier this year many of us here, including myself had the opportunity to visit Bosnia Herzegovina with Remembering Srebrenica on what I can only describe as life altering trip. To meet survivors, to hear their stories first hand, to listen to the work  of the NGOs and people working tirelessly to bring about justice, equality, peace and restore hope for a prosperous future.

Potocari

We visited Potocari; the place of the former UN base or otherwise known as the “safe zone” where 1000’s of women, children and some men sought shelter during the siege. This has been converted into an education centre and museum. Directly opposite is the sea of graves, row upon row of headstones of the 8732 men and boys who are now buried there after being systematically killed.

ICMP

We had the opportunity to visit the International Commission for Missing Persons who have had the painstaking job of contacting relatives, seeking out DNA samples and cataloguing information from families on what their loved ones were wearing or other identifiable items they may have been carrying on the day they disappeared. 

Morgue

We visited the Podrinje Identification project in Tuzla where 100’s of bodies, 21 years later still remain in bags to be pieced together, fragment by fragment, in the hope that they can be identified, and families can finally bury their loved ones with others already identified each year on the 11^th of July.

Sexual violence

Our focus as a delegation was to centralise the woman's narrative of genocide and war. In Bosnia it has been estimated that above 50,000 women endured horrific rape and sexual violence. Even as early on in 1992 did the UN Security Council have a commission set up which evidenced that rape was extremely widespread and was being used as a weapon of war. What is more alarming is to learn that they had also found that it was a policy of Serb forces to systematically use sexual torture against the Muslim Bosnian women so that they could “breed them out.” That the children born out of the rapes would also have Serbian blood. They set up rape camps, where women and girls were raped daily and sometimes several times a day. Many died of their ordeals and some chose to end it rather than be tortured anymore. There could not have been a bigger and more heinous crime committed against a Muslim woman. Rape and sexual violence; a crime no woman should ever have to endure.

*(Survivor)

10 soldiers came into my home who had previously burned down my grandparents’ house while they were inside with my 3-year-old sister. They ordered that I go with them, and they took me to my high school. I wasn’t even 18 years old, and I had never been intimate with a man until that time. That night, they took me into the basement of the school and threw me to the floor. I couldn’t see their faces. I prayed and begged for them to stop, but nothing helped. I lost consciousness. I woke up in a classroom and felt nothing but emptiness inside. I was held in that school for a month and a half. I thought I would never be free again. They continued to come and take advantage of me during the night. When I was released and reunited with my family, I was told that they had also killed my father and brother.

*(Witness)

The bus started its journey. The further we were from the town, the louder and more arrogant the Serb soldiers became. Very soon after leaving the town the bus suddenly stopped. Right away the drunken Serbian reservists started assaulting the younger women, pinching them, touching their thighs, backs, breasts. Then they started taking women, one by one, to the nearby woods. When they came to me, I was terrified. My mother, although weak and helpless, tried to protect me. She begged them to leave me alone, explaining that I was only a girl, still a virgin, but it didn't help at all. They were very horrible to me… they were holding me… they took turns on me... all that happened before the eyes of my nine year old sister, and my grandmother who was over seventy.

Medica zenica, Viva Zene and other NGO’s 

We visited Medica Zenica trauma centre, and met with survivors. The trauma set up by an amazing lady Sabiha Husic shared that “21 years later they still received calls from women who had not been able to deal with their ordeals.” Due to perhaps shame, stigma, or the sheer level of their brutal experiences, they have never been able to find the words or felt enabled to reach out to begin the healing process. There had not been the support mechanisms, until survivors themselves took the initiatives to get training, gain qualifications and develop initiatives to help and support other survivors, offering psychological and emotional support. This centre in particular has been set up to not only offer trauma therapy, but offer therapy to children who have also been affected by what is known as intergenerational trauma. They offer life skills alongside the psychological therapies while women live at the centre, so that women can feel empowered to develop ways of sustaining themselves once they leave.

Mothers

We heard from the Mothers and how they continue their fight for justice. Many of them losing husbands, sons, and others losing the menfolk of their entire family. We heard how many mothers were awaiting news of a new find or uncovering of a mass grave that perhaps their loved one was buried there and how they are adamant not to hold hate their hearts. These mothers whose only mission is to seek justice and to live a life of peace left me and all of us in awe. These women, who have joined together and mobilised travelling to The Hague, testifying, and facing the perpetrators in court reminded us that we can never ever be complacent in our societies.

*Munira

I gave birth to a healthy baby boy who grew up to be a handsome young man. Now, I have only buried two small bones belonging to him. Among the approximately 6,500 graves, his grave has the least and smallest bones or remains buried. I have a grave for both my sons and their graves have their names on them. That means a lot to me as it would to any mother. This is proof that they lived and that they were loved. They have not been erased. This is why it is important to find every single victim, they deserve to have their names known and engraved.

I last saw my son in Srebrenica before they took him away from me. Now, as I am in my 70s, I am alive but I am not living, and the greatest injustice is waiting for justice

Final thoughts….

I will admit as a person who works with survivors of sexual abuse and rape and has worked with trauma survivors I came back from this trip feeling traumatised. I questioned how humankind was capable of doing such vile crimes? How could humankind spread so much hate? I realised one thing…we will not see the scars of war until we examine them close.

If there is lessons which I brought back they are these

Shared by our guide and friend out in Bosnia Resad he said

“Women are the true heros”. What the women of this war endured is incomprehensible.

(Survivor)

If there is one lesson I have learned it is to separate the victim and the crime. So many victims feel they are to blame but being a victim does not mean you are guilty. To heal you must get rid of such feelings first of all. You must also learn to forgive rather than focus on hate. Hatred is such a fertile soil for negative emotions.

I was brought up in a religious family. Every day when I say my prayers, I pray to God to forgive those men for what they did to me because it is not for us to judge others.

 (Survivor 2)

There is something else I want to say. What we ask for is only a possibility to maintain our lives, nothing more. This should not be forgotten. What hurts me most is that now they want to hush up everything, as if there had been no prison camps, no raping of defenceless women. But I am here! I am a living witness! I have given this statement for people to remember this crime and to prevent it from taking place again."

Interfaith School Workshop - Celebrating Unity

It's that time of year again, when the work we've been doing all comes together. We have been working hard organising different events and workshops for Remembering Srebrenica Memorial week, which begins this Sunday the 10th of July.

After my trip to Bosnia earlier this year, it has only made me more determined to highlight the genocide and share its lessons. The rise of Islamophobia over the years, and the rise of hate crime and dislike for the "other", strikes a chord with me, especially when I can draw parallels to the past, with the here and now. It is worrying to hear that even our young feel fearful of what the future holds, and therefore even more important to engage with them.

This year marks 21 years and the theme has been "Coming of Age". As part of this, today Aimee; a delegate, and I delivered workshops at Broughton Jewish Cassel Fox Primary School to several different classes across year 1 and year 4. We spent the morning engaging with the young children in understanding our similarities, our differences and identifying the things which united us.

In a world which wishes to divide us the words of MP Jo Cox came to mind "we have more in common."

May we continue to work for justice and humanity.

A vigil of love

In the light of recent events, my dear friend and comrade sister Sairah organised an impromptu vigil in honour of MP Jo Cox who was so brutally murdered in an act of what I can only describe as violent extremism, while doing the work that she loved and serving the people she deeply cared about. I never knew Jo Cox personally, but have good friends who had worked with her, met with her, and known her. They all echoed the same sentiment stating, she had been a formidable humanitarian who championed many causes as an activist, and then as an elected MP.

She was an inspiration, and had touched many lives. Last night felt like a reflection of who she was, and embodied all the causes she cared most about. We witnessed people from all diverse communities join in solidarity to pay their respects. We heard from a friend and colleague who shed light on her family life, as a mother and wife. Members of the Syrian community shared their immense sense of grief and loss of someone who had been so vocal about their cause, and the oppression of their people, being snatched away in the manner that she was.

She was a champion of unity, inclusion, women’s rights, social justice, a mother, a wife, and a woman who had not only won a position, but won many hearts.

Jo's husband, Brendan stated "......she would want us to unite to fight against the hatred that killed her. Hate doesn’t have a creed, race or religion, it is poisonous."

Yesterday was just that; an opportunity to rise above the hate, rise above those that are adamant to divide us, and create animosity between us. To rise above those who want to create fear and a “them and us” mentality, and I’m so honoured to have been asked to capture this day in images.

I leave you with the words of Martin Luther King Jr

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Aisha Mirza

event organisers and speakers

Organiser: Sairah

Chair: Dr Siema Iqbal

Speakers:

- Julie Ward MP

-Angela Raynor MP Ashton Under Lyne

- Yasmine Nahlawi, British Syrian Community of Manchester Rethink Rebuild Society

- Ilyas Nagdee, Diversity Officer at the University of Manchester

- Charlotte Hughes, Community Activist and blogger of "The Poor Side of Life"

- Nahella Ashraf, Stand Up To Racism

- Karyl Ann Cross, independent intercultural minister

- Charlotte Nichols, Women's Officer for Young Labour

- Tony Erizia, community activist and member of Manchester Palestine Action