Sexual Violence as a Tool of War- Remembering Srebrenica Fundraising Dinner

Sunday 10th July 2016 we finally witnessed our months of hard work and commitment come together with an event that attracted over 150 people from diverse communities all coming together to learn, share and discuss issues of sexual violence and rape against women during the conflict in Bosnia. We were able to share the long standing effects of trauma, but also celebrate the resilience and courage of women. An event with an all female panel, bringing their own experience and perspective on women issues, and the importance of solidarity, the conversations which erupted afterwards were phenomenal. Many stressed that they did not know of the extent and nature of what the women of Bosnia had endured, but also shared that there was a huge need to address sexual violence as a whole. This being not only a tool of war, but how it is still prevalent in many communities, with the current increase of women seeking support or reporting, being a clear reflection of this.

As I said in my speech during the event, despite working with survivors of sexual violence, abuse and rape over a number of years, this trip left me feeling traumatised at the level of depravity that the sexual violence entailed. However it also strengthened my resolve to continue to dedicate my time and efforts to not only raise awareness, and educate but also create safe spaces for survivors to speak out, and ultimately work at ending sexual violence against women and girls.

The following is the speech I delivered that evening. Alongside an overview of our trip earlier this year (January 2016) to Bosnia with the charity Remembering Srebrenica, it contains verbatim excerpts of testimonies from survivors (which are highlighted in bold italic).

 

*Trigger warning- some may find the following content disturbing* 
* "Pre-war

Life was really good. We had an actor’s club, a theatre, a music and dance school. My daughter would learn the Tango and other Latin American dances, and I would dance traditionally. There was live music in a garden café every day, we’d go fishing during the summer, and swimming in the clear waters of the Drina. (Kada)

At the beginning of the war I could not and did not believe that it would happen. I could not believe that our neighbours would turn their backs on us and that they would turn into perpetrators. (Munira)

How could this happen? These are the words on the lips of many survivors from the Bosnian genocide. A society; where Muslims, Christians and even the small minority of Jews had lived together, side by side, for generations in peace. A society; where nothing but a name set one apart from another.  Where many worked and did business, with each other. Where many had friendships and many married one another.     

Then how could neighbours turn on neighbours? How could teachers turn on students, and how could friends find themselves on opposing sides, willing to take up arms and willing to commit murder and rape? 

Earlier this year many of us here, including myself had the opportunity to visit Bosnia Herzegovina with Remembering Srebrenica on what I can only describe as life altering trip. To meet survivors, to hear their stories first hand, to listen to the work  of the NGOs and people working tirelessly to bring about justice, equality, peace and restore hope for a prosperous future.

Potocari

We visited Potocari; the place of the former UN base or otherwise known as the “safe zone” where 1000’s of women, children and some men sought shelter during the siege. This has been converted into an education centre and museum. Directly opposite is the sea of graves, row upon row of headstones of the 8732 men and boys who are now buried there after being systematically killed.

ICMP

We had the opportunity to visit the International Commission for Missing Persons who have had the painstaking job of contacting relatives, seeking out DNA samples and cataloguing information from families on what their loved ones were wearing or other identifiable items they may have been carrying on the day they disappeared. 

Morgue

We visited the Podrinje Identification project in Tuzla where 100’s of bodies, 21 years later still remain in bags to be pieced together, fragment by fragment, in the hope that they can be identified, and families can finally bury their loved ones with others already identified each year on the 11^th of July.

Sexual violence

Our focus as a delegation was to centralise the woman's narrative of genocide and war. In Bosnia it has been estimated that above 50,000 women endured horrific rape and sexual violence. Even as early on in 1992 did the UN Security Council have a commission set up which evidenced that rape was extremely widespread and was being used as a weapon of war. What is more alarming is to learn that they had also found that it was a policy of Serb forces to systematically use sexual torture against the Muslim Bosnian women so that they could “breed them out.” That the children born out of the rapes would also have Serbian blood. They set up rape camps, where women and girls were raped daily and sometimes several times a day. Many died of their ordeals and some chose to end it rather than be tortured anymore. There could not have been a bigger and more heinous crime committed against a Muslim woman. Rape and sexual violence; a crime no woman should ever have to endure.

*(Survivor)

10 soldiers came into my home who had previously burned down my grandparents’ house while they were inside with my 3-year-old sister. They ordered that I go with them, and they took me to my high school. I wasn’t even 18 years old, and I had never been intimate with a man until that time. That night, they took me into the basement of the school and threw me to the floor. I couldn’t see their faces. I prayed and begged for them to stop, but nothing helped. I lost consciousness. I woke up in a classroom and felt nothing but emptiness inside. I was held in that school for a month and a half. I thought I would never be free again. They continued to come and take advantage of me during the night. When I was released and reunited with my family, I was told that they had also killed my father and brother.

*(Witness)

The bus started its journey. The further we were from the town, the louder and more arrogant the Serb soldiers became. Very soon after leaving the town the bus suddenly stopped. Right away the drunken Serbian reservists started assaulting the younger women, pinching them, touching their thighs, backs, breasts. Then they started taking women, one by one, to the nearby woods. When they came to me, I was terrified. My mother, although weak and helpless, tried to protect me. She begged them to leave me alone, explaining that I was only a girl, still a virgin, but it didn't help at all. They were very horrible to me… they were holding me… they took turns on me... all that happened before the eyes of my nine year old sister, and my grandmother who was over seventy.

Medica zenica, Viva Zene and other NGO’s 

We visited Medica Zenica trauma centre, and met with survivors. The trauma set up by an amazing lady Sabiha Husic shared that “21 years later they still received calls from women who had not been able to deal with their ordeals.” Due to perhaps shame, stigma, or the sheer level of their brutal experiences, they have never been able to find the words or felt enabled to reach out to begin the healing process. There had not been the support mechanisms, until survivors themselves took the initiatives to get training, gain qualifications and develop initiatives to help and support other survivors, offering psychological and emotional support. This centre in particular has been set up to not only offer trauma therapy, but offer therapy to children who have also been affected by what is known as intergenerational trauma. They offer life skills alongside the psychological therapies while women live at the centre, so that women can feel empowered to develop ways of sustaining themselves once they leave.

Mothers

We heard from the Mothers and how they continue their fight for justice. Many of them losing husbands, sons, and others losing the menfolk of their entire family. We heard how many mothers were awaiting news of a new find or uncovering of a mass grave that perhaps their loved one was buried there and how they are adamant not to hold hate their hearts. These mothers whose only mission is to seek justice and to live a life of peace left me and all of us in awe. These women, who have joined together and mobilised travelling to The Hague, testifying, and facing the perpetrators in court reminded us that we can never ever be complacent in our societies.

*Munira

I gave birth to a healthy baby boy who grew up to be a handsome young man. Now, I have only buried two small bones belonging to him. Among the approximately 6,500 graves, his grave has the least and smallest bones or remains buried. I have a grave for both my sons and their graves have their names on them. That means a lot to me as it would to any mother. This is proof that they lived and that they were loved. They have not been erased. This is why it is important to find every single victim, they deserve to have their names known and engraved.

I last saw my son in Srebrenica before they took him away from me. Now, as I am in my 70s, I am alive but I am not living, and the greatest injustice is waiting for justice

Final thoughts….

I will admit as a person who works with survivors of sexual abuse and rape and has worked with trauma survivors I came back from this trip feeling traumatised. I questioned how humankind was capable of doing such vile crimes? How could humankind spread so much hate? I realised one thing…we will not see the scars of war until we examine them close.

If there is lessons which I brought back they are these

Shared by our guide and friend out in Bosnia Resad he said

“Women are the true heros”. What the women of this war endured is incomprehensible.

(Survivor)

If there is one lesson I have learned it is to separate the victim and the crime. So many victims feel they are to blame but being a victim does not mean you are guilty. To heal you must get rid of such feelings first of all. You must also learn to forgive rather than focus on hate. Hatred is such a fertile soil for negative emotions.

I was brought up in a religious family. Every day when I say my prayers, I pray to God to forgive those men for what they did to me because it is not for us to judge others.

 (Survivor 2)

There is something else I want to say. What we ask for is only a possibility to maintain our lives, nothing more. This should not be forgotten. What hurts me most is that now they want to hush up everything, as if there had been no prison camps, no raping of defenceless women. But I am here! I am a living witness! I have given this statement for people to remember this crime and to prevent it from taking place again."